This is a self-imposed isolation, and one with which I am familiar---I tend to be rather hermit-like myself in my senior years. You are very young for such an existence, however, so there may be a chance for you to branch out a bit without sacrificing any pleasures you derive from the near total isolation. When you wish to eat out but are alone, take a book or newspaper to read, or carry a journal in which you can write while you are eating---this tends to lessen your feeling of being conspicuous. Consider taking a college course, maybe an evening course, in something about which you are curious...computers, horticulture, creative writing (you've written quite a bit here so I assume you have some writing skills), or even psychology (since you question your own behaviors or choices). Evening courses tend to be older working adults, with whom you might fit in rather well. Libraries are sometimes an excellent resource for finding a writers' group or other social gatherings of low-key intensity that might be to your liking. If you could attend a lecture at a local college and be somewhat anonymous in the crowd, this also might be something that would expand your knowledge while not interfering with your desire to remain subdued. . . As to the "cameras" in malls or public places, they are SURVEILLANCE cameras designed to make sure all the people are not posing a threat of some sort---you and everyone else. If you have nothing to hide in terms of your reasons for being there, cool...ignore the cameras or make funny faces at them and draw attention to yourself...get past your built-in guilt complex and paranoid tendencies by "confronting your demons" and realizing NOTHING BAD HAPPENED. Maybe you fear prominence because you think you will fall short of others' expectations---might be a reaction to over-demanding parental figures? This is FIXABLE...if you want it fixed. Or you can just continue to avoid being challenged and never really know for sure if you can meet, measure, match, and then surpass any demands made. Your choice.